Tuesday, 29 June 2010

Remember how it was before

In the past, I've found magic wands and made changes. After a while I tend to accept the new improved situation as the standard. I forget about how things were. And I question if the magic wand really did anything at all.

Now, sometimes, by the time I reach this stage, the magic wand has done its job, and I don't need it any more. It is now just a dead stick. Brown and sticky...

Now I've mentioned being gluten intolerant, and the changes that made to how I feel. It was a shock how quickly I got used to being the new me. The vibrant me (in so far as I'm ever vibrant, a gluten free me... vibrated... more). A happier, more awake me. Within two months I had taken it for granted.

Then I had to start eating gluten again. So that I could be blood tested to see if it had a result.

It was hell. My stomach rumbled and my head fuzzed up. Suddenly all I wanted to do was lie in bed in the dark.

I had forgotten that not eating gluten was a magic wand for me. I thought it was just some sort of punishment I had accepted.

I have another month of gluten to go. I get to have a final requiem for many of my favourite foods. And to suffer through every tediously long painful day at work, feeling like I should be anywhere else but there.

But I know where my magic wand is, and come May, I'll be digging it out again, and once more turning myself from a frog into a prince.

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